Bei der Durchforstung alter Daten bin ich auf einen "Fun"-Ordner aus dem Jahr 1999 gestossen. Hier ein Beispiel, welch böse Sachen damals versendet wurden. Ich empfehle dem Leser, nach der Lektüre die Augen mit Seife auszuspülen. Ich habe es eben getan.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
Materials safety data sheet
Women - a chemical analysis
Element: Women
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted at 53.6 kg, but known to vary from 40-200 kg
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason
3. Melts in given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
Chemical properties:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
